UNREAL

AAARRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Not to beat a dead horse, but Josh found out yesterday, he did not loose the promotion by 1 point, but by .25 of a point. How completely unreal is that. I personally believe they should have canned those scores and re-boarded with different people. It is too close to say one out did the other. I am completely beside myself with frustration. On another note, I am trying to be positive about my job. I am attempting to like it. I am putting forth great effort to fill my days. The only problem I foresee is I am getting to far ahead on some things, so when the time comes I will not have anything to do. But I am going to work with a positive attitude everyday. Usually by the end of the day I am not so positive, BUT… I am trying, and I am not just quitting. The kiddos are crazy! Jacob is growing out of his toddler phase and into the kid phase. He is hilarious. When he gets frustrated with something he say “Oh waffles!” I am not sure where he got this, I have never said it, and Emily says, “Oh pickles!” So bizarre is my house! Emily had 2 sleepovers this weekend. On Friday night Chelsa slept at our house and on Sunday night Emily slept at Chelsas house. There was no school on Monday, and Emily stayed with Chelsa until noonish when Josh got home from work. Well that is a short recap of our lives. Kinda boring except for the .25 mess. Argh!

Math Star and Fantastic Union Hill Reader!

Here are the pictures of Emily when she came home with her Math Star ribbon and her medal for being a fantastic Union Hill Reader. She was so proud of all her accomplishments. She recieved the Math Star ribbon for completing all 100 addition problems correctly. She recieved the Fantastic Union Hill reader from the library, for completing 10 ARD tests. We are so proud, as all of you should be to. (She also was told that she is halfway through the year for reading. We have made some definante progress and I am so pround of her. She tries her hand at reading signs and things on the TV. I have all the hope in the world that she will catch up and have no problems going onto the second grade.)

Broccoli?!?!?

So Jacob has a new favorite food. This is good, because if you know my son he only eats like 5 things. Only his new favorite food is not something anyone in our family likes, that he learned to like in school: BROCCOLI!!!!

Presidents Day

Wow, you have to love the government. I am off today, with a to close to comfort feeling of what things might have been. I am home with Jacob, cleaning and taking care of business, things that need to be done, but have been put off. I cleaned Emily's room and I am going to clean Jacob's. I am going to cook 2 meals today. I am insanely jealous off all those women who get to stay home. I am still trying to figure out how I can stay home. My plans aren't going so well right now, but I am trying to figure it out. If you have any ideas, let me know.

life sucks

He did not get the job. I don't know what elseto say except now we have to fugure out what to do. I still don't like my job, but have to stay until I can find something I do want, but I am not even sure what I want. That makes looking for a job VERY difficult. I am so very sad. I guess that God has decided that this is not the path we need to take right now, and I am going to do my very best to be ok with it.

This is an older picture I took. It is of some of the most outer rings of Hurrican Rita. This was our big hoopla. But it is a pretty picture, and I wanted something pretty to look at while I wait...some more. I don't think we are ever going to find out if he got it. I seriously feel like I am going to puke. I have felt that way for the last 48 hours. Josh and I are now to the point were we almost don;t care one way or the other, we just want to know, so that we can start getting on with our lives.

In other news, the kiddos are doing well. They seem completly unfased by all the tension in the house, just trucking along. Emily's reading does seem to be improving, the more we work with her. I hope I am not just hopeful and seeing small progress as bigger progress. Jacob is a huge mess. He has finally taken it upon himself to learn how to put his shoes on. This is a huge step for him, he also tried red tortilla chips the other day, another huge milestone. New foods anf Jacob don't mix, so anything new is a big deal to us. I have two, yes two doctors appointments. I have an eye doctor appointment and a regular doctor appointment. Yeah, I get to sit and wait alot tomarrow, at least I have a new book to take with me. And well you know all about Josh right now. We really need to find out so he can start sleeping again. He has a difficult enough time getting enough sleep but the added anxiety hasn't helped.

I HATE to wait

Josh had his board this morning. He feels confidant. He has been told the decision has been made but has to be approved by everyone and their dog. So now we wait. He was however told he did well and he should have a decision by the end of the day. We have come to the conclusion that whatever God wants in our lives is what will happen, and we will take it and run with it. Whether it be s promotion and a job change or staying put were we are for the time being.

EDIT--So it is almost 5 and we have not heard anything. Josh has tried to find out from folks at work, but alas, noone will talk. He has been told that it will be posted tomarrow, so this horrible waiting game should be over by then, but we shall see, they are rather slow on the upkeep of this sort of thing. Anyhow, we figure, if we haven't heard by 5, we won't hear at all today. ARG!!!

Could changes happen sooner than we think?

The jail has decided to have the boards tomorrow, on Tuesday. We are very anxious about it all. Everyone that Josh talks to tells him that he is the best one for the job, but is nervous all the same. There is a bit of favoritism, and not towards Josh. Not that they don’t like him, nit the Captain likes another guy better. Luckily there are 5 people who help make the decision. He has to give an oral presentation and an interview. I am so hopeful for him. This position is what is has wanted, what he has strived for so long as I can remember. You know when you finally find the career you want to do, and then once you are in that career you see apposition that you know you would be good at and it finally comes open? This is that position, in the career he loves. I want it so bad for him. Josh just called me and told me that the guy the Captain loves can’t apply because of the investigation into the cadet’s death. So it is down between Josh and one other guy. He has a 50/50 shot at getting the promotion. He said, “Don’t get your hopes up” But I can’t help but get a little excited. I want it SO much more for him than I do for myself. Even though a major change could take place in our household in the next week, and especially in the next month and a half, and for me-I just want my husband to get the job he wants. We have played this job game with him for the last two years and he is finally where he wants to be and in a position he would love to be. Plus 8-5 with weekends and holidays off wouldn’t be so bad either, -especially because he had to work Christmas morning last year. I know he would be so happy! We could do so much more as a family. I want this so much so that I can be doing all the work we do on the weekends during the week and we can spend the weekends going on treasure hunts or to local festivals or spending time in the parks and at baseball games and Girl Scout meetings, more time together as a family. Plus I could learn to cook a turkey, and make bread and pizza crust from scratch, heck a cake from scratch. And we might even be able to go to Kentucky, as a family this summer when my parents go! Josh has never been, and I think my dad is planning to go to a few St. Louis games, and I have decided that will be the team I root for, so Josh and I can share an interest and have fun with that. He would love to go to a game, and we might just travel there instead of Vegas and only go to Cruces for the Reunion. Oh man, I hope and pray that this happens. Now for my parents, I know things won’t be all roses, but he will be making what he and I were making a year ago combined, without the cost of daycare, lunches out, and gas to drive downtown all week. The day care alone, especially in the summer is a HUGE savings. Plus, I can cook, meals that take longer than 30 minutes to put together, but are better for you and cheaper, because it is from scratch. So I know the challenges that lay ahead if this happens, but I also know the rewards of being able to spend this summer with my kids and to be there for them, maybe Emily wouldn’t have the reading problems she is having today if I were home to help her more, and maybe Jacob would be more independent if I were home and we could spend more time learning to dress and try new foods. I feel like I have missed SO much and I don’t want to miss much more. So this change would be awesome for everybody, not just Josh to reach the goal he has been after for close to 7 years, but for me and my kids as well to be a closer, more in tune family.

EDIT--They changed their minds, they are put off indefinitely, again.

Josh has his oral boards tomorrow.

I have a little something up my sleeve. I have for the past several years wanted to stay home. Now that one of my kids is in school and the other is about to be, I have been thinking about it more and more. Not because they are both about to be out of the house almost 8 hours a day, but because that is what I want to do. I want to spend some time working in the home, with a little working from the home. I want to be able to go on field trips, and class parties and be home after school to help with homework. I want to possibly start up a few ideas that I have running through my head as a way to earn a little extra income on the side. I want to clean my baseboards and do laundry and learn to cook from scratch, while teaching my daughter to as well. I want that. I have always had to work, out finances have not allowed me to do anything but work. Now Josh is sort of in the process of applying for a change in positions. It would be a promotion with an 8-5 sort of deal and more money. Less than what I make now, but enough to where I could give my two weeks notice and stay home. He was supposed to do his oral board a week ago, but they put it off and then a cadet passed away while in training and it has been put off indefinitely. I am asking that all you pray that he gets to do the oral boards and that he gets the job. I know it is something he has wanted to do for ages and would make him happy, and it would make me happy. I just feel like this job I have now does not allow for ANY fun. If you laugh to much you get scolded. And I like to laugh, I like to have fun, I like to make people feel good, and I miss my family. Even though I see them more on average than I did at LQ I want to see them more. I also feel that because this position I am in now does not allow for any movement I am ALWAYS tired. I never get moving all day long and then I go home and I am so tired from not moving that I don’t want to do anything. So, I really need to do something else, and I would LOVE for that something else to be staying at home. So, if we can all say a small prayer for me I would be ever so thankful. I want what is best for me and my family, and I am not quite sure my current job is what is best. But I am going to leave it up to GOD and I know what is best will present itself. I just have my fingers crossed for promotion for Josh and SAHM for me.