Friday, June 18, 2010

The Plastics

I love having friends.

Now, I know this sounds ridiculous, but I love having friends.

Friends who will text you two days out and say, “hey- you up for lunch and shopping at Goodwill on Friday?”

That is the text I got from Jane two days ago and could hardly wait to have happen.

Candice, Jane and I are friends from school. We all work together and have created is amazing bond over the last two years that rivals almost any other friendship in my life. We are always together. If you can’t find one of us where we “belong” you need to just look in the others rooms. We are the bobby triplets of the high school. In a lot of ways I equate us to the Plastics on Mean Girls. Not that we are mean, but we all have our roll, just as they did in the movie.

Regina: Candice- She is the queen bee and she is always planning and plotting.

Gretchen: Me, because, I have SO many secrets in my hair and I want so much to be loved.

Karen: Jane, she rounds us out and is as sweet as pie, but is a little slow sometimes.

We are the Plastics, but in a nice way. We aren’t out to get those around us, we are not going to take anybody down. But we all three fit into those rolls so perfectly it is almost scary.

Well us three went out for a little lunch, goodwill shopping and Dairy Queen with Jane’s baby. He is almost too cute for words. I ALMOST want another one, but after what I did to myself this week we won’t be having anymore babies. And it was the best time. We gossiped about school and talked about babies and talked about each other and our lives. And we laughed. I laughed so hard that people at the tables around us were looking at me, but I didn’t care. Because when Candice starts in on about the truck driving women her husband works with, it is to die for. I almost wet myself. Luckily I had not had that much to drink. It was SO much fun. The three of us have such a great time with each other and we complement each other so well. Like when Candice told the waiter no guacamole on my dish, because I forgot to tell him- that is a good friend. I miss having them around on a daily basis and laughing and having a great time.vIt almost makes me ready for school to start again, ALMOST.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010


I am alone in my home right now.

I sit here in my room alone while my insides begin to heal.

My family has headed out to see a movie to allow me some quiet time.

I can’t sleep.

So, I will write.

I am not sure I have thought provoking or fantastical to say, but I have had the urge to start writing again and I think I will start putting it all on “paper” again this summer.

This morning I had minor surgery. I had been diagnosed with menorrhea. This means that I have excessive, horrific, painful menstrual periods. This had begun probably four to five years ago. It was becoming more and more of a problem so I began to see doctors about it and found out about a procedure last summer. But, I waited and didn’t do anything about it. A year passed and things got worse. So I was on it again. I made the appointments and took care of business. And today was the day.

I was scared.

Really scared.

But I wasn’t really sure what I was scared of. Just that I had a sinking feeling of doom.

I went into the hospital and was scared. But as I was waiting for all of the people to come and see me and for all the nurses and doctors to do their thing I began to feel a wash of calm come over me. I knew at that moment that the prayers I had said and those my friends and family had and were saying were “doing their job.” God gave me a calm. And suddenly I was ok. Then… they came in and gave me valium. HA! I thought, if only you had been here 15 minutes ago! But then, I would not have been reminded that I am not the one in control. That the doctors and nurses are not the ones in control. No, God is the one in control. And He will always find a way to remind you of that.

Monday, June 14, 2010


When I look back at the last two years and the changes in my life that have taken place it is quite amazing. This time two years ago I was in a job that I hated, I was stuggeling with my kiddos and while Josh and I were not in a bad place we certainly were not in a good place either. Then I got the call to ofer me a change at a change. And the transformation began. I truly believe that God was watching every single minute of my life, watching, waiting and anxious for me to learn the lessons that I needed before he moved me along in my life.

I look at myself today and I am such a different person. I stand up for myself. I am more humble. I am looking out for the good of the whole and not just myself. I am learning to like myself a little more. I am learning to not be a door mat. I am learning how to serve in the way Christ would like me to. I am finding a place for me and my family on this, our temporary home. I am talking about Christ more with those around me. I am more open with my problems and struggles. Before I was such a private person. I did not want to share myself with much of anybody. I had a small handful of friends who held what few secrets I would share and I never felt more alone. I never would give myself over to anybody completely- sometimes not even to my husband. I am not perfect now by ANY stretch, but I am learning that by talking to others about my struggles I am not alone. I may be able to help others. I may learn something myself. It has been so rewarding to open myself up to those who have surrounded me and I am feeling so much better about who I am.

Now this isn’t to say I have completely come out of my shell, but I have in fact begun to climb my way out. I am stretching my arms and I really like the view. I like the way it feels to share my life and to be heard. I enjoy listening and growing that bond with those around me. I can’t wait to grow it even more.