When I was 21, only a few short months after I had given birth to my dear daughter Emily, I started to gain weight at an incredibly rapid rate. I was EXHAUSTED and was having other issues, that I won’t share here, because they are gross. Anyhow- I went to the Doctor, because I thought to myself, “Oh, gracious, I think I am pregnant again. Oh and by the way I have a four month old. ACK!”
After talking to the doctor and having a ton of blood work, the nice little doctor sent me home to wait for a call to figure out what was wrong. I went home and the doctor’s office called me that very afternoon to tell me that I needed to come back for more blood work. There had been an error and that they needed to redraw my blood. No problem, except that I am so tired it hurts to even think about walking to the car to drive across town. Once I arrive they take the blood and send me on my marry little way again. I received a call the next day that I was not pregnant, but instead I was broken. I had hypothyroidism. Meaning my thyroid don’t work. It went on vacation and is never coming back. Meaning that my body likes to be tired and fat all the time now, forever. In fact so broken that the doctor was shocked that I was functioning at all. He told me people with less of a “problem” never leave there home because it can be so debilitating. He put me on meds and told me I would feel better soon. The problem was I started to feel ok, but the weight, it never went anywhere.
Now the problem was that I have never enjoyed exercising. I remember in college going to the athletic center and riding the stationary bike for 30 minutes and thinking, “Wow! I am so fit now!” HA!
So I lived my life and the baby weight never went away, but now I had a bit of an excuse plus- there were days in the beginning of my journey that I literally had to drag myself from the bed I was so tired. Simply caring for my child and trying to not live in a pig sty were the more important thing in my life. I got pregnant with Jacob and got a desk job and the weight came on and never went anywhere.
Well, I am tired of it. I began in January eating healthier and have been visiting the gym more often than not. I am trying to go, even when I would rather sit on the couch and stuff myself full of chips. My endurance is raising, but the pounds are staying put. And I am frustrated. I hate my thyroid. I want it to get fixed and make my life a whole lot easier. I want to try to be healthy and see some results. I will stay with it. Because I will win. I am in a competition with myself. I have someplace fabulous to be in August and I want to enjoy it, even if I haven’t lost a single pound- I will have at least gained endurance for the trip. What is most frustrating about it all is that I want it, I am trying, and there are no results.
Also, I literally cannot remember the last time I wasn’t tired. It has been at least 12 years. And that, that really sucks.