CUPCAKES!!!

I have decided that I want to cook cupcakes, and not just the regular ones, from a box, but from scratch, work on decorating them with more that just icing from a tub. Josh bought me a cupcake book from the grocery store and I thought, why not try and make some of these? They are fairly simple, they look yummy and have a little in the way of decorating and a little in the way of baking. I am going to attempt to make a batch a day- so if you are a local friend, be ready to have some cupcakes dropped on your front step. I want to practice, but not get as wide as a house while doing it.

So today, while it is the 2nd day of summer, I made my first batch.
pink velvet cupcakes.
It is all completly from scratch.

So here we go:

The ingrediants- well most of them. I forgot to show the eggs. But otherwise it is all there.











Here is the batter. Does it not look too die for! It taste delicious! Not that I tried any.











Here is the finished product: Is it not beautiful!











I wouldn't feel right if I made you think that I made those and they were all that beautiful. I had my fair share of poor looking ones. But they all tasted the same!

Lent

I grew up in a town with 4 options for a church of my religion. The Spanish speaking one, the ultra conservative one, the ultra, ultra conservative one and the last one, sort of a middle of the road, medium sized church. We went to the latter. We never spoke of lent in my church. I knew about it because the rest of the churches in my town were Catholic. However, lent was never brought up. I never had to choose what to give up, I never had to make the sacrifice.

A few years ago it became “all the rage” to give something up for lent. I felt like all the cool Christians were doing it. I felt like they were doing it to be cool, to make a statement, to rub their Godliness in others faces. I know that I was probably wrong in that, now that I am so much older and wiser. Insert sarcasm here.

Yesterday was Fat Tuesday and while we were making our dinner I mentioned that we should give something up for lent. It had been on my mind for a few weeks and since yesterday would have been the day to decide if we would participate, I mentioned it.

Josh immediately said, “You should give up Freebirds and Papa Murphys!” I almost died on the spot. He had me pegged. Because we had never participated in lent before, we discussed with the children the basic idea. We should sacrifice something small to say thank you to Jesus and God for giving up something SO very BIG. Emily immediately replied with, “Wow, Mom, use God against me.” We all had a good laugh at that one.

So after we sat for dinner we discussed several options for the kiddos to choose from. Some of the options were candy, computer time, Wii time, texting, brownies, soda and homework. It was decided after much debate that the kids would give up soda and Josh and I would give up Freebirds and Papa Murphys. It was an interesting time of conversation in our house around the dinner table, one that I enjoyed and am glad I have to reflect on.

So this year, we are participating in lent. Because we should be able to give up something that we enjoy for 40 days. The Lord gave up so much more than that for us.

I write real good.

My mother is bugging me that I have not updated in a while, so here I go, trying to give it a try.

The problem is that I always surround myself with people who can write better than I can. I like to think that I am a rockstar writer, but I really know better. I am average at best. I have attempted to write several books. That is laughable at best, seeing as how I am a mediocre writer, I can’t spell to save my life and my story is fairly mediocre.
But then I think about the writing “training” I obtained while growing up. And while I am not perfect, it did teach me more than I will ever know. Mrs. Garcia, Mr. Tomlin, Mrs. Comer and my mother taught me how to write a proper paper, how to write a letter, how to write both professionally and creatively. You see when I was in high school I thought I was a fabulous writer, mostly because (once again) I surrounded myself with fabulous writers. I believe Mrs. Comer gave me my first “C” on a paper and it just about sent me over the edge. I was not used to that. I scheduled a conference with her to discuss the paper and she didn’t budge. She told me it was truly “C” quality work. Which was true, I hadn’t given it my all. It changed the way I wrote and approached writing. I never was as good as those around me, but I know that because of the tons of edited papers that each of the previous mentioned people gave to me, for all the red ink that has bleed over all over my work I became better. And because my mentors where so tough on me it made me become better. It made me try harder. It made me re-read my work, looking for mistakes (except spleeing (leaving, cuz, well- let’s be real it is truth)) and really giving it my all.

I am certainly not good now, but I am thankful that I can push publish and not be embarrassed about what I have written. Well, at least after I run it through spell check.

Surgery

I am alone in my home right now.

I sit here in my room alone while my insides begin to heal.

My family has headed out to see a movie to allow me some quiet time.

I can’t sleep.

So, I will write.

I am not sure I have thought provoking or fantastical to say, but I have had the urge to start writing again and I think I will start putting it all on “paper” again this summer.

This morning I had minor surgery. I had been diagnosed with menorrhea. This means that I have excessive, horrific, painful menstrual periods. This had begun probably four to five years ago. It was becoming more and more of a problem so I began to see doctors about it and found out about a procedure last summer. But, I waited and didn’t do anything about it. A year passed and things got worse. So I was on it again. I made the appointments and took care of business. And today was the day.

I was scared.

Really scared.

But I wasn’t really sure what I was scared of. Just that I had a sinking feeling of doom.

I went into the hospital and was scared. But as I was waiting for all of the people to come and see me and for all the nurses and doctors to do their thing I began to feel a wash of calm come over me. I knew at that moment that the prayers I had said and those my friends and family had and were saying were “doing their job.” God gave me a calm. And suddenly I was ok. Then… they came in and gave me valium. HA! I thought, if only you had been here 15 minutes ago! But then, I would not have been reminded that I am not the one in control. That the doctors and nurses are not the ones in control. No, God is the one in control. And He will always find a way to remind you of that.

Reflections

When I look back at the last two years and the changes in my life that have taken place it is quite amazing. This time two years ago I was in a job that I hated, I was stuggeling with my kiddos and while Josh and I were not in a bad place we certainly were not in a good place either. Then I got the call to ofer me a change at a change. And the transformation began. I truly believe that God was watching every single minute of my life, watching, waiting and anxious for me to learn the lessons that I needed before he moved me along in my life.

I look at myself today and I am such a different person. I stand up for myself. I am more humble. I am looking out for the good of the whole and not just myself. I am learning to like myself a little more. I am learning to not be a door mat. I am learning how to serve in the way Christ would like me to. I am finding a place for me and my family on this, our temporary home. I am talking about Christ more with those around me. I am more open with my problems and struggles. Before I was such a private person. I did not want to share myself with much of anybody. I had a small handful of friends who held what few secrets I would share and I never felt more alone. I never would give myself over to anybody completely- sometimes not even to my husband. I am not perfect now by ANY stretch, but I am learning that by talking to others about my struggles I am not alone. I may be able to help others. I may learn something myself. It has been so rewarding to open myself up to those who have surrounded me and I am feeling so much better about who I am.

Now this isn’t to say I have completely come out of my shell, but I have in fact begun to climb my way out. I am stretching my arms and I really like the view. I like the way it feels to share my life and to be heard. I enjoy listening and growing that bond with those around me. I can’t wait to grow it even more.

Thyroids are for the birds.

When I was 21, only a few short months after I had given birth to my dear daughter Emily, I started to gain weight at an incredibly rapid rate. I was EXHAUSTED and was having other issues, that I won’t share here, because they are gross. Anyhow- I went to the Doctor, because I thought to myself, “Oh, gracious, I think I am pregnant again. Oh and by the way I have a four month old. ACK!”

After talking to the doctor and having a ton of blood work, the nice little doctor sent me home to wait for a call to figure out what was wrong. I went home and the doctor’s office called me that very afternoon to tell me that I needed to come back for more blood work. There had been an error and that they needed to redraw my blood. No problem, except that I am so tired it hurts to even think about walking to the car to drive across town. Once I arrive they take the blood and send me on my marry little way again. I received a call the next day that I was not pregnant, but instead I was broken. I had hypothyroidism. Meaning my thyroid don’t work. It went on vacation and is never coming back. Meaning that my body likes to be tired and fat all the time now, forever. In fact so broken that the doctor was shocked that I was functioning at all. He told me people with less of a “problem” never leave there home because it can be so debilitating. He put me on meds and told me I would feel better soon. The problem was I started to feel ok, but the weight, it never went anywhere.

Now the problem was that I have never enjoyed exercising. I remember in college going to the athletic center and riding the stationary bike for 30 minutes and thinking, “Wow! I am so fit now!” HA!

So I lived my life and the baby weight never went away, but now I had a bit of an excuse plus- there were days in the beginning of my journey that I literally had to drag myself from the bed I was so tired. Simply caring for my child and trying to not live in a pig sty were the more important thing in my life. I got pregnant with Jacob and got a desk job and the weight came on and never went anywhere.

Well, I am tired of it. I began in January eating healthier and have been visiting the gym more often than not. I am trying to go, even when I would rather sit on the couch and stuff myself full of chips. My endurance is raising, but the pounds are staying put. And I am frustrated. I hate my thyroid. I want it to get fixed and make my life a whole lot easier. I want to try to be healthy and see some results. I will stay with it. Because I will win. I am in a competition with myself. I have someplace fabulous to be in August and I want to enjoy it, even if I haven’t lost a single pound- I will have at least gained endurance for the trip. What is most frustrating about it all is that I want it, I am trying, and there are no results.

Also, I literally cannot remember the last time I wasn’t tired. It has been at least 12 years. And that, that really sucks.

Revamp

Well, I wiped the dust and prettied her up. I feel like I have a lot to say as of late, and I need a place to do it. So, this will be it. I may only have like 1 reader, (hi mom), but that is ok. I got to get the stuff out somewhere and this was a fantastic outlet for me a few years ago, so I am coming home to it.

Be on the look out. I have a few in drafts already with more stewing up in my pea sized brain.

Reflections

It has been several months since I have even had a simple moment to sit down and reflect on what the last year has looked like. But know, I find myself in that position. Sitting back and reflecting. Something that I think we should all do, especially when we change our lives in such a drastic way and several months have passed- you should sit back and think about if the choice you made was a good one, was one that you are proud of, is it making your life better or worse.
One year ago (almost exactly) I was hired to teach high school. This was a goal I had been working towards for longer than even I will admit. But I finally had accomplished it. And I was thrilled and terrified. I had never done anything like this before. And it was a drastic change. I had changed from a hotel manager to a cube dweller, and while that change was a lot bigger than I thought at the time, I knew this change was big and that things were going to be hard, but good.

And they were. Hard, so incredibly hard. Harder than any job I have ever had. But good. Better than anything that has happened in the recent years.

The last nine months have been so incredible that I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world. Those first few days were terrifying, but I think the kids are so wrapped up in themselves that they don’t even realize you are as nervous as they are. And I was. Terrified. I wanted to do my very best but I was nervous. I also left my previous job with a sour taste in my mouth for “upper management” and was nervous that they wouldn’t like me anymore than those “in charge” had at the previous place.

But I started and poured my heart and soul into the job. So much in fact that my son asked me to go back to the other job because when I left the office at 5pm, I was gone, but this teacher thing followed me around everywhere. Always writing a lesson plan or thinking about a lesson or worrying about papers to grade. And if that was all done, then… I worried about those stinking kids like they were my own. But, his tune has changed, as I learned how to better use my time and now when I am home, I am almost always not working on school stuff- that he can see. Plus, with summer within sight, he is pleased as punch that we will be home together to play and act silly all summer long.

With only a little bit of school stuff left to do. Only I will do most of that while he is away of asleep.

So the last year has been amazing. I only had 9 seniors this semester, but a few of them were extra special. One who is too cool for school. Who painted a beautiful mural on my wall which I will cry over not being able to take with me when we get our new school. She wouldn’t even look at me at graduation, but I know she was happy to see me there acting like a silly, crazy person who had shown up to see them graduate. I saw that twinkle in her eye as she walked passed me. The second was that kid who took my class, a freshman level course, as a senior. He just had to have a place to park himself every other day for an hour and a half. He was a good boy, who always did his work, even the stuff he thought was ridiculous. He carried that flour baby around and he sewed several pillows, and I think he might have learned a little something in the process. These two kiddos will help me remember my first year teaching. Along with a dozen or so others crazy under classmen. Like the mechanical baby girl, who talked incessantly about those silly mechanical babies until she had to carry around a flour baby for a week. Haven’t heard a peep about them since. Or the student athlete who always did her work BEFORE she was going to be out for athletics. And managed to get a 98 in my class. And the poor little boy who transferred schools at the semester and gave me the first and last teacher gift I have ever received. The teacher mug with candy. This boy was special to me, because after the first day of school if I had never seen him again, it would have been too soon. But we muddled through and when he left he had been clean and sober for 4 weeks and was proud to tell me about it. And I was proud of him for it.

So over all the last year has been a whirl wind of time. I don’t even remember feeling down in the trenches, but I know I was there. I know there was a time when I felt overwhelmed and under qualified and lost for what to do and say. But know I know better than I did before and I will know even better this time next year. I can’t believe how far I have come. I can’t believe how excited I am to go back next year and start all over with those silly little freshman. And some other classes that will have more upper classmen in them. This has been the best career change I have ever made. And I think I am only as good as I am because I come from a line of educators and because of the life I have lived up to this point. If I hadn’t worked all the crazy jobs I had in the past, then I wouldn’t be half as prepared as I am for this now.

I love it. I love hearing “SUMPTER!” in the hallways, from several students. I love the nothing drawings that students have made for me. I love the exhaustion that I feel most days. I love that there are students who love me and students who hate me. I love that I am making a difference in the lives of some of these knuckleheads. They have left their mark on me, I just hope that I have left a mark on them.

My rockin' New Years Eve!

Josh was working on New Years Eve and Emily had gone to spend the night at a friends house to "work" on her cience Fair Project, leaving Jacob and I to fend for ourselves. Jacob was about to make his regular dinner on the fly, Taco meat, when I thought it would be way more fun to cook up a pizza and watch Wall-E, which we had picked up from the Red Box the night before. Jacob was game, so I let him make the pizza all by himself- with a little direction from me.

Now when I say, "Make a pizza" I don't mean make the dough. My mother used to make the dough from scratch when I was a kid, but once these little pouches came out where all you have to do is add water, she went to that and that is all I have ever done with my family. So here is Jacob puring in the dough.




Stir it up! He loves to stir!


Got to grease the pan. I remember having to Cisco it with my fingers whn I was a kid. It was SO gross. And my mom always made me do it!


Spreading the dough out. He did a very good job. I had to help him in the end, but he almost did it all himself.


Extra seasoning. Got to make it our own!


And the sauce. We don't use anything fancy. What ever we have in the house already. This is some sort of 4 cheese sauce.


Add the cheese, oops! Caught ya! He loves to eat shredded cheese. I think he may have eaten more than he got on the pizza!


But the smile makes it all good!


In the oven! Yummy!

Once it was done, we snuggled up and watched Wall-E, the third viewing for him and the first for me. I enjoyed my rather tame ringing in of the new year. But I wouldn't have had it any other way.

Prayers and Blessings

I have been attending a Sunday school class using the book Revolutionary Parenting as a guide. During the last 5 minutes of class our children’s minister stands up and would issue a challenge for the week. A challenge to get us to be better parents. She usually would give us something along the lines of bringing God into the conversations more or praying around the dinner table.

This class has been so wonderful. It allowed me to have the gumption to ask Jacob to pray at dinner and when he said no, again like he does every time we would ask I tucked that information into the back of my mind and that night when I tucked him in I asked him why he didn’t ever want to pray at dinner. His response was of course to say nothing at all, just like when I ask a difficult question to him. I asked if it was because he didn’t actually know how. If he was intimidated because when our babysitter prays at her table it is always very flowy and showy? His response to this question was a big nod and big scared eyes.

I quickly informed him that he was ok to have very simple prayers and that his prayers would be just as important to God as any big showy prayer he had heard anywhere else. We now, have nightly “prayer time” and he is excited to do it and getting more confident in his prayers every night. They are still very simple and “thank you for the trees” kind of prayers, but he is comfortable doing it and it pleases me more than anything else in this world.

Additionally another challenge given was to write a blessing for your children. This was especially difficult for me. I was very unsure of what to write. But I did it. I am sure it is horrible. But I plan to give these to the kids on Christmas Eve, and make it a tradition. And let me tell you--- it blessed me more than I am sure it will bless them. It is nice to sit down and really think about the wonderful things about your children and how they bless you and how you only hope for the very best for your children.

This class has come to a close and I am really sad about it. I know that the next class we will begin after the new year will be fabulous. It is a more Bible based course and I love to delve into the Bible during Sunday School, but I will miss this class, it is the first “parenting course” that I REALLY enjoyed and will miss going to every week. I am glad that I purchased the book in order to read and re-read it as my children grow. I would recommend it to anybody!!

A change

My mother, who has been a teacher for a “few” years decided to send me a “back to school” box. I received it in the mail this afternoon and opened with the excitement of a young child. You see, my parents oftentimes send my children boxes filled with prizes and fun toys. Only this time, it was all for me.

I slowly opened the box and found this:



It was almost as good as it gets for me. I love school supplies. They bring me happiness that is really quite unnatural. The post-its and highlighters. They bring me joy that many people do not understand.

When I left a job about 4 years ago, because I was being promoted, my boss had left for the afternnon in order to go to Sam’s Club. He returned later that evening to the office with his hands full of stuff. In one hand was a beautiful framed print, in the other was a box with a 2 pound bag of m & m’s and a stack of yellow post-it’s. I asked him what he had been up to and he told me he had been out to purchase my going away present. I immediately was giddy with the prospect of my going away present being the box with the m & m’s and post-it’s. It wasn’t, and I left that place with a beautiful framed picture which I have kept at my desk for the last four years and it has reminded me daily of my time at that hotel. It will make it’s way into my classroom as well. And now, I have these wonderful office supplies, which will carry me through my teaching career.

I can’t wait.

Rock Star Shopper

I was out running errands this morning and decided to head to the mall on a whim. Just to see what I might find, really looking for a replacement for the stinky shoes I have. While I did not find the replacement shoes (stinky feet live on!) I did find some rockin' deals on kids clothes. I bought 3 shirts and a set of 2 "pj's" for Jacob and 4 shirts, 1 dress, 1 pair of pants, 1 hat and a watch/bracelet set for Emily. Look below for the visual aid:




Please do not mind the Fruit Pebbles scattered on the ground next to the table, I will sweep after I tell you the exciting news of my fabulous finds.

How much would you pay for these clothes? I added the price together with the full prices: $261.93. Do you think I would pay nearly that? NEVER! I paid....




are you ready....



$39.12.


That is a savings of $222.81. Can you believe it? I totally got the best deal! I love walking up the cash register and watching as they scan and the price is way less that you expected. Like the pants for Emily: $2.49! My gracious. I nearly fell over right there in the store.

It was so fabulous! I even bought Josh a handful of shirts for work, a pair of shorts and a pair of pants for next to nothing. Not as great a deal as the kids, but pretty darn close!

Baby Blankets

Last night I pulled out some fabric that I had purchased during a shopping trip earlier in the week. I proceeded to make 2 baby blankets. With each one, I really learned about silly things, like cutting in a straight line and sewing straight. Those minor things really help with the quality of sewing that takes place. But here are two more blankets I made as gifts for two of my colleagues at work who are pregnant.




I hope that they like them and that they will help keep their babies warm during the cold winter nights.

Yesterday

Yesterday was a hard day. It was the first day at work after I gave my two weeks notice. It is really hard to stay focused on a job that you are ready to leave, ready to move on from and start something new. I am doing it, but man, it is hard.

I went home and ate some fabulous stuffed bell peppers that my husband had made and left in the fridge for me to cook. The kids ran to their friends house and I didn’t see them again until they were hungry. And then they still left again after that. Since I was by myself I began the nearly impossible task of cleaning. Just cleaning. I think the stress of leaving this current job and the fear of the unknown allowed me to kind of check out of the cleaning, regular household duties persona. Plus Josh, who usually picks up the slack when I have a week moment has been working such crazy hours he is lucky he is even standing upright most days.

I began in my bedroom. Probably the worse of the entire house. Because I can’t let the kitchen get too terrible and the living room is a hot spot, so I tend to at least “police the area” as my mother used to say more often that anywhere else in the house. But the bedroom, it was the dumping ground. I only actually threw away one garbage bag full of stuff yesterday, however, I didn’t finish the room. I have this stack. It is a stack of things from the kids that I want to keep. I am not a pack rat mother, keeping every drawing that my children make, but if something is especially nice, or took a long time to complete I like to keep it. Only I have NO way of organizing these items so they end up in the stack. There are crafts from when Emily was in Kindergarten, to the TAKS test results and nearly every report card for both children. That area and the dreaded bathroom closet are my charge tonight. I don’t even want to tell you about the bathroom closet, it is just literally a place where we throw things. Maybe, just maybe I will document my progress. If I am feeling generous.

After the cleaning of the bedroom I began watching my new guilty pleasure The Two Corey’s. It is like a train wreck. I have to watch, because it is so horrible. It is almost painful to watch. That is why I love it. And then, for my weekly weep fest, I watch Army Wives. I start the show, pull out the tissues and cry for an hour. It is very therapeutic.

I put the kids to bed and they gave me all sorts of grief. When I finally checked on them before I went off to bed, Jacob was asleep on the floor in Emily’s room. I guess Emily wasn’t willing to share her new mattress with him. I loaded him back into his bed, only to be woken up by him twice in the night. It was a long day, yesterday, but today will be better.

I can't promise this won't become a craft blog

So I went to the WalMart today and bought some fabric. I made some aprons. I am absolutely no expert, but I am having a lot of fun learning and can't wait to try something else. I don't know what that will be, but the work week is starting, so there will be little time for sewing. The only problem I am really having is it hurts my back more than sitting at the computer for 8 hours a day. Oh, well, muscles will be built.

Here are the aprons I made today. Emily was going to model both of them, but she went next door and got sopping wet so she went straight to the shower and I wanted my picture then. Jacob reluctantly modeled it for me.

Here is my first attempt. I like it, but I need longer ribbon. I really think this would make a better child's apron, simply because the ribbons around the neck are so small. And look, that's Bessie in the back ground. Just plain dead.



Next is my second attempt. With no pattern, I was just winging it with my extra fabric. I really, really like this one.



Over all I am very pleased with my efforts. Too bad the bathrooms didn't clean themselves while I sewed. Hmmmmm....

Look Ma! I can sew!

After trying and failing at threading the sewing machine which belongs to my MIL (who is currenlty in California, therefore little help with the whole threading thing) I finally begged Josh to pick up the instruction manuel. He did and I have had success!

Since I will be teaching this to students in approximately 5 weeks, I figured I needed to figure the whole sewing thing out. It has been quite a while and I have never been much of an expert.

Once I got started I thought, "I should blog my experience, because that's what I do."

Look, here is the machine, threaded properly with my material waiting to be sewed. I will be making two baby blankets. One which is humongous, perfect for the modest breast feeder and a smaller one, which was made from my left over material.


Here I show you my fabulous stitching.


This one shows you how focused I am. I am really getting after it.


Final product:




I am impressed with myself because I actually did it. They are not perfect, but will help keep somebodies baby warm this winter. And I gave myself the confidence that I can in fact to the job I have been hired to do: High School Family and Consumer Science teacher.

On growing up

This weekend I made the 4 hours one way and then 4 hours back trip to ACU in order to drop my 9 year old daughter off at church camp. Her real first sleep away camp. I was a bit of a mess. Mostly because she wasn’t. She had spent the week prior in New Mexico with her grandparents, having a great time, apparently behaving like an angel- with occasional attitude and she had only arrived home the day before I made the trip to take her to camp.

She was SO excited. Wearing her brand new High School Musical dress that Memaw had bought for her at the Disney Stores annual “It’s so cheep, we pay you to take it” Sale. She was so adorable in it and looked like such the little lady. And honestly, excited does not give justice to what she was. She was just plain thrilled. When we saw the first sign that said “Abilene” she squealed. Literally, like a pre-teen at a New Kids on the Block concert. Not that I would know anything about that, at all.

Anyhoo.

We made the drive up with her brother in the backseat playing Mario Games the entire way, complaining about the length of the trip about once every hour. Once we arrived, she checked in, got her room assignment and off we went to unpack the car. After hauling two suitcases up to the third floor she went looking around while I made her bed. It was like I was in some sort of weird Freaky Friday moment, only I was the mother this time. I remember doing the same thing to my mother; only she was dropping me off for college.

When she came back 15 minutes later she tried shoving me and her younger brother out the door, but I insisted that we stay until she was completely unpacked and moved into that college dorm room. (And that part I am not even exaggerating about. They stay in college dorm rooms!) After she was entirely unpacked I tried to get her to walk around the campus with me and her brother, to get a feel for the place, but she simply shoved me out the door and said, “See you on Friday!”

Jacob and I made our way down the 2 flights of stairs, went and paid for the picture package we ordered and got into the car and left.

Just like that.

It was so dramatic…. in my mind.

I am sure she is having a fantastic time and I can’t wait to hear all about it on Friday.

But I have found that I am having quite a time letting her go this time. I have been leaving her for weeks at a time since she was 6 months old, but I have always left her with family. With any camp environment, I have been with her, as the leader and even then it was only for one nighters. But this, this is so big. No contact for an entire week. No family members there to keep an eye on her. The freedom she will have is like none she has ever tasted.

And what funny is that I am not worried about her. I know that she is perfectly safe. I know that she will be accounted for more times than I will ever know. I know she will have a great time, making new friends and learning all sorts of things. But the thing that I am having the most trouble with is the letting go. It is so, so very hard. I want so much to be by her side when she is making those friends and learning those things. But I can’t be. And I don’t really want to be. Because I know that I am who I am because my parents dropped me off at camp and left when I kicked them out the door. I made my way just fine, and I know she will too. I just know how much I grew as a person and as a Christian at those camps and I am sad and selfish that I won’t be there to witness it. I just have to be ok with it. And that is so very hard.

I know she is going to come home a completely different young lady that who I dropped off, and I can’t hardly wait to meet her!

World I never thought I would hear.

While the kids are gone this week I have been even more busy than I am with the kids. Ok, I am busy with things that are all about me, but I am ok with that.

I decided that while the kids are gone I would try a few recipes that I had found that I didn’t want to deal with crazy kids in case they were horrific. So, on Tuesday night I made a Mexican Lasagna. That’s what the recipe called it anyways. It was fairly easy, and from the my recipes website. It was so easy I made most of it while on the phone with Amy, talking about something of vital importance, like world peace, hunger in third world countries, or maybe it was what Britney was wearing that day on Perez Hilton. I don’t really remember.

Anyhoo.

I made this meal while on the phone, and I am not really a cook so that should tell you that the recipe was super duper easy to make. I did dirty 4 dishes/pots in the process but I will just have to get over that.

And when I pulled it out of the oven, it looked and smelled delicious. I waited for it to cool down and carved me a little piece out to try and it was fantastic. I was in love. I thought I was the new Rachel Ray. But I was home by myself and the true teat would be what Josh thinks when he got home later that night and tried some.

The next morning as I was heading out the door I asked him what he thought of the Mexican Lasagna and he said, “It is the best thing you have ever cooked!”

Now, I don’t cook much, but I think I have a few good meals up my sleeve. But now, Mexican Lasagna is one of the food that will be added to the rotation at our house. Plus now that I have made it once, I can think of a few ways I want to tweak it to make it my own. I am just thrilled to have found something that at least 2 of the members of my family will enjoy. I think that even Emily might like it and Jacob MIGHT warm up to it in time.

So here you go: the recipe.

Ingredients
1/2 pound ground mild pork sausage 1/2 pound ground beef 1 (15-ounce) can jalapeno ranch-style pinto beans, drained 2/3 cup canned diced tomatoes and green chiles 1 teaspoon garlic powder 1 teaspoon ground cumin 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon pepper 1 (10 3/4-ounce) can cream of celery soup 1 (10 3/4-ounce) can cream of mushroom soup 1 (10-ounce) can enchilada sauce 9 (6-inch) corn tortillas 2 cups (8 ounces) shredded Cheddar cheese 1 cup (4 ounces) shredded Monterey Jack cheese 1 medium tomato, seeded and diced 4 green onions, chopped 1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro 1 medium avocado, chopped
Preparation
Cook sausage and ground beef in a large skillet over medium-high heat, stirring until meat crumbles and is no longer pink. Drain. Stir in beans and next 5 ingredients; cook until thoroughly heated.
Stir together soups and enchilada sauce in a saucepan; cook until thoroughly heated.
Spoon one-third of sauce onto bottom of a lightly greased 13- x 9-inch baking dish; top with 3 tortillas. Spoon half of beef mixture and one-third of sauce over tortillas; sprinkle with half of Cheddar cheese. Top with 3 tortillas; repeat layers ending with tortillas. Sprinkle with Monterey Jack cheese and next 3 ingredients.
Bake at 350° for 30 minutes. Top with avocado.
Yield
Makes 6 to 8 servings

Yummy.

Oh gracious- they are fabulous!

On Saturday night I decided to try and make the dessert that Kim mentioned on her blog. It seemed super simple and looked to die for.

So I made some ka-bobs and the dessert so that once Josh got home from work he could grill up the ka-bobs and we would have a nice relaxing summer evening.

Let me tell you- those desserts- were FABULOUS! I had to stop myself from eating more than one. They were so good. Even my picky-puss son Jacob loved them, and that is the real test.

So thanks Kim, because I know have a new fabulous, easy to make dessert in my arsenal of fine, homemaking.

My spin on Parenting

We have had quite an eventful week in our house and as I look back and reflect, I think about Amy’s post, which was in response to Brandy.

On Monday I received a call from my husband asking about what appeared to be bug bites of some sort on Emily’s forearm and check. There had been no bites the day before and she was asleep when I left for work on Monday so I had no clue what he was talking about.

When I got to the Y to pick the kids up from “camp” I looked at Emily’s face and arm and was concerned. Mostly because the spot on her arm was larger than a quarter and when I asked her if it itched or hurt, her reply was “hurt.” After consulting with my mother and she with Nurse Sandy, we decided a trip to the Doc in the Box was necessary. After dinner was complete Emily and I jumped into the car and headed over to the clinic. We packed books, just in case. But when we arrived, it was like a ghost town. Not a soul in sight besides the desk clerk.

After we see the doctor and are diagnosed with a boil, that is possibly a staph infection (but we don’t know because we came in when the infection was still at such an early stage that there was no puss to culture) we head over to the pharmacy and sit and wait for what seems like hours in order to pick up her prescriptions. It was a late night for us on Monday, but her well-being was my concern.

With that diagnosis, I am extremely grateful that I, after much consultation, made the decision to take her to the doctor and felt that I had made a good parenting choice.

With this diagnosis she is required to take 3 teaspoons of antibiotics twice a day for 10 days. 10 days! I can hardly remember to take the medicine I have been on for 9 years daily, much less remember to make sure my child takes her medicine twice a day for 10 days. I have forgotten almost everyday, but bless her heart, she has not forgotten and has self medicated nearly everyday.

I don’t like it one bit. Next thing you know, she will be dosing her own baby with their medicine.

So, I had a point.
We are not always perfect. Hardly ever. But our efforts do not go unnoticed. And honestly, when it really matters, we get it right. I got my child to the doctor. Almost too soon actually, and that is what matters. Luckily, I can lean on her to remember to take her medicine on her own, because I know she can. Plus, she hates it when I nag her. And let it be known I am not claiming to do everything right, I rarely do. But I know I get it right when it counts. And that is what really matters.