Reflections

It has been several months since I have even had a simple moment to sit down and reflect on what the last year has looked like. But know, I find myself in that position. Sitting back and reflecting. Something that I think we should all do, especially when we change our lives in such a drastic way and several months have passed- you should sit back and think about if the choice you made was a good one, was one that you are proud of, is it making your life better or worse.
One year ago (almost exactly) I was hired to teach high school. This was a goal I had been working towards for longer than even I will admit. But I finally had accomplished it. And I was thrilled and terrified. I had never done anything like this before. And it was a drastic change. I had changed from a hotel manager to a cube dweller, and while that change was a lot bigger than I thought at the time, I knew this change was big and that things were going to be hard, but good.

And they were. Hard, so incredibly hard. Harder than any job I have ever had. But good. Better than anything that has happened in the recent years.

The last nine months have been so incredible that I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world. Those first few days were terrifying, but I think the kids are so wrapped up in themselves that they don’t even realize you are as nervous as they are. And I was. Terrified. I wanted to do my very best but I was nervous. I also left my previous job with a sour taste in my mouth for “upper management” and was nervous that they wouldn’t like me anymore than those “in charge” had at the previous place.

But I started and poured my heart and soul into the job. So much in fact that my son asked me to go back to the other job because when I left the office at 5pm, I was gone, but this teacher thing followed me around everywhere. Always writing a lesson plan or thinking about a lesson or worrying about papers to grade. And if that was all done, then… I worried about those stinking kids like they were my own. But, his tune has changed, as I learned how to better use my time and now when I am home, I am almost always not working on school stuff- that he can see. Plus, with summer within sight, he is pleased as punch that we will be home together to play and act silly all summer long.

With only a little bit of school stuff left to do. Only I will do most of that while he is away of asleep.

So the last year has been amazing. I only had 9 seniors this semester, but a few of them were extra special. One who is too cool for school. Who painted a beautiful mural on my wall which I will cry over not being able to take with me when we get our new school. She wouldn’t even look at me at graduation, but I know she was happy to see me there acting like a silly, crazy person who had shown up to see them graduate. I saw that twinkle in her eye as she walked passed me. The second was that kid who took my class, a freshman level course, as a senior. He just had to have a place to park himself every other day for an hour and a half. He was a good boy, who always did his work, even the stuff he thought was ridiculous. He carried that flour baby around and he sewed several pillows, and I think he might have learned a little something in the process. These two kiddos will help me remember my first year teaching. Along with a dozen or so others crazy under classmen. Like the mechanical baby girl, who talked incessantly about those silly mechanical babies until she had to carry around a flour baby for a week. Haven’t heard a peep about them since. Or the student athlete who always did her work BEFORE she was going to be out for athletics. And managed to get a 98 in my class. And the poor little boy who transferred schools at the semester and gave me the first and last teacher gift I have ever received. The teacher mug with candy. This boy was special to me, because after the first day of school if I had never seen him again, it would have been too soon. But we muddled through and when he left he had been clean and sober for 4 weeks and was proud to tell me about it. And I was proud of him for it.

So over all the last year has been a whirl wind of time. I don’t even remember feeling down in the trenches, but I know I was there. I know there was a time when I felt overwhelmed and under qualified and lost for what to do and say. But know I know better than I did before and I will know even better this time next year. I can’t believe how far I have come. I can’t believe how excited I am to go back next year and start all over with those silly little freshman. And some other classes that will have more upper classmen in them. This has been the best career change I have ever made. And I think I am only as good as I am because I come from a line of educators and because of the life I have lived up to this point. If I hadn’t worked all the crazy jobs I had in the past, then I wouldn’t be half as prepared as I am for this now.

I love it. I love hearing “SUMPTER!” in the hallways, from several students. I love the nothing drawings that students have made for me. I love the exhaustion that I feel most days. I love that there are students who love me and students who hate me. I love that I am making a difference in the lives of some of these knuckleheads. They have left their mark on me, I just hope that I have left a mark on them.

Well, Hello there

Well, my oh my. It has been nearly 2 months since I last thought about writing anything on this here blog. But I thought I might give it an old college try.

The last 2 months have been hard. If you are still in school, thank your teachers. If you have kids in school, thank their kids. Because this career choice I made, it is hard.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love it. I have not once thought "I do not want to go to work today." Except for that one day when I had a stomach bug, but that was because I didn't want to puke on all of my students. I love going into that classroom everyday and teaching these knuckleheads things that I would like to think our children going into high school should know, but all too often do not.

I have been swimming in it all for the last 8 weeks. But with Thanksgiving right around the corner I actually feel like I might find myself as a person again. Maybe.

Take tonight as an example, even though I spent all day in class I still had time to take Emily to a birthday party, and have some one on one time with Jacob, and finally upload photos from like the last 3 months and a few other fun items. While sorting through the previously mentioned pictures I found one that I had forgotten i had taken. I had wiped the memory of the event from my memory all together. But seeing that picture, it all came back to me.

You see a few months ago my dear Amy and I finally made our much anticipated trip to see NKOTB. She recounted her fabulous memories HERE. She does quite a fantastic job of retelling the account in a fabulous voice with lots of anticipation and well thought out writing. But what she didn't tell you was that she became very violent on our little adventure. She was out right crazy. I became fearful for my safety when she insisted that she purchase a shot gun.

And then, ladies and gentlemen, she shot an animal. And liked it!

I know, I know, we are from Texas, where people shoot animals for sport. But, I really was shocked when we are walking through downtown San Antonio and she opens fire on a poor, defenseless animal.

I even took a photo of our dear friend with the "kill" and as you can see she was quite proud of herself!

I know, I know. I am almost ashamed to call her MY Lucy.

But in all seriousness, I think that weekend helped keep my sanity. With the craziness that is my life now I rarely have time for myself. But me and my girlfriend rocked a fabulous time and I can not imagine doing it with anybody else. Plus the music was pretty rockin' too!

The sweet is so sweet.

So as many of you may or may not have noticed, I apperantly took a little bogging break for the last week and a half. I have been so super busy with new hire training, and in-services and my on-line courses that time has become very precious. Gone are the days of sitting in front of a computer for hours a day with nothing to do.

But I love it.

I am SO tired and my feet already hurt. I can hardly sleep for all the thoughts and ideas racing through my mind as I try to fall asleep.

I have not loved a job like this in years.

Now I may not feel that way in a week, when the students actually show up, but I am toughing my exterior, preparing my first weeks lessons and gritting my teeth.

I know it will be sweet, because I made it through the bitter.

My classroom

I have been spending my time this week attending the first of my three weeks of training that I am required to have prior to the beginning of the school year. I was released early today around lunch time and I headed out to my school so that I could take a look at the class room I might be placed into, hopefully get my schedule and find out exactly what I will be teaching and finally take some of the materials home with me in order to start completing some of my lesson plans prior to the school year starting.

I was shown the room that everybody thinks I will be occupying.


The room is in the middle of being painted and cleaned out prior to the beginning of the year. I am excited to have such a huge room and I am really glad they got rid of the blue paint on the wall and painted it "Navajo" as I was told by the nice painter, Joe, that was in the room working. This is not for sure my room, but the councilor and my teaching partner seemed to think this is where I will be placed.

I also was given my tentative schedule. I will teaching 5 sections of the same class: Personal and Family Development and 1 section of Housing/Interior Design. There are 8 periods and I will have 2 conference periods, 1 each day as we are on a block schedule.

And I brought home tons of books. I brought home as many as I could carry in one trip.



I know it will be hard and over whelming and I know I will cry, but I am SO excited!

Changes are coming

I recently was looking back at my blog posts from when I left my previous job and took the job I currently have (for 6 more hours). I was looking to see if I had written a grand farewell to this job kind of piece, I mentioned that I had found a new job and that I was excited about the new opportunity and such but nothing like the post I had written in my head over the past couple a weeks about this job I have now.

But then, as I was looking at the posts I came across this picture:



And I immediately thought of the picture I had just posted earlier this week:



And I got mad at myself.

Really, really, really mad.

Because that sweet little boy has grown three years in my time with the Evil Company (EC) and I missed a lot of it because I spent my time angry about my job. I missed first days of school and Kindergarten recitals and parent/teacher conferences because of EC. I have been mad for the last three years, and you know what? That makes me mad! I missed so much of my babies childhood because of my situation.

And that day I vowed that I was done being mad. I know that this next year will be hard. I will be angry, I will be frustrated, I will feel unappreciated, I will cry. But I will not let it allow me to miss anymore of my children’s lives. No job I could ever hold will be more important that the one’s I already have, Christian, Wife and Mother.

With that said, I am SO stinking excited at the gigantic change that I am making right now. It is scary and nerve-wracking, but I know it is the correct choice, because I have no regrets of leaving EC. None, zero, zilch. I feel like I had to work at this place, I had to have these experiences, I needed them to grow as a person. But I also know that my time here is done. I have no reason to think this is a mistake. And I am ready to wake up again and start living my life, as a happy, joyful person.

A change

My mother, who has been a teacher for a “few” years decided to send me a “back to school” box. I received it in the mail this afternoon and opened with the excitement of a young child. You see, my parents oftentimes send my children boxes filled with prizes and fun toys. Only this time, it was all for me.

I slowly opened the box and found this:



It was almost as good as it gets for me. I love school supplies. They bring me happiness that is really quite unnatural. The post-its and highlighters. They bring me joy that many people do not understand.

When I left a job about 4 years ago, because I was being promoted, my boss had left for the afternnon in order to go to Sam’s Club. He returned later that evening to the office with his hands full of stuff. In one hand was a beautiful framed print, in the other was a box with a 2 pound bag of m & m’s and a stack of yellow post-it’s. I asked him what he had been up to and he told me he had been out to purchase my going away present. I immediately was giddy with the prospect of my going away present being the box with the m & m’s and post-it’s. It wasn’t, and I left that place with a beautiful framed picture which I have kept at my desk for the last four years and it has reminded me daily of my time at that hotel. It will make it’s way into my classroom as well. And now, I have these wonderful office supplies, which will carry me through my teaching career.

I can’t wait.