February 2003

Today Josh is in New Mexico. He is there to testify in the trial of the man who assaulted him over three years ago. This person already has a life sentence plus ninety years, meaning the absolute earliest he could be released would be after he served 93 years. I don’t think he is going anywhere, but the DA needs to make a statement that it is NOT ok to assault officers. We have been down this road before, this trial has almost happened half a dozen times, but it appears that it is actually going to happen today. I truly am thankful to God that it is finally going to be over. We can finally close this chapter in our lives. This assault is the reason we live in Austin, it is why we moved.

I was getting dressed, applying my make-up (ironically enough, Mary Kay) and attempting to dress my two children for Sunday school. Emily had just turned 4 and Jacob was only 18 months old. My phone rang downstairs and I did not hear it. I was probably drying my hair. The phone rang another time, again I did not hear it. It rang a third time and I ran downstairs to answer it. Something already told me something was wrong, because nobody calls on Sunday morning at 7:30. When I saw that it was my mom my heart relaxed. I though to myself she probably want to know when we will be to Burger Time for our weekly tradition of burritos and donuts. She loved to see those kids and was probably anxious for us to arrive. But when I answer her breath is short and her words are sharp. “We will be at your house in five minutes, get ready to go, Josh is at the hospital” My heart felt like it might explode. I think I am going to be sick. I really did not know what to think. I don’t remember who came to the house, or if I dropped my kids off at my parent’s house, the next thing I remember is driving into the hospital parking lot and my phone ringing again. I answer it this time. It is the prison, the person on the other end says, “Susan?” I say, “Yes, that’s me” He says, “ Your husband has been assaulted, you need to go to the hospital.” I then tell him I am already there. As I drive around the parking lot I see the prisons big white van. My heart stops again. I take a deep breath and park my car. I get out and walk inside. I try to talk to the person at the reception desk, but she doesn’t seem to understand the urgency I have in my voice. How did she not understand, I had received THE call. The call I had feared receiving since the day Josh took that job. I feared for him as he drove to work everyday. How could she not understand? I finally calmed down enough to ask my question slowly enough for the lady to understand and the big, wide doors to the emergency room buzzed opened and I walked through. I turned left and walked down the hall and found my husband.

He was sitting on the hospital bed, looking like I have never seen a man look before. His eyes where black and red and he was visibly shaken to the core. There were two or three other officers in the room, all doing their best to raise his spirits, calm him down and just be there for support. I knew at that moment our lives had changed. Our lives changed when my husband got up early that February morning and went into work. Our lives changed when a convicted murderer decided to pound on my husbands face for no apparent reason, other than it might be a fun Sunday morning activity. Our lives changed as I was changing my son’s diaper that Sunday morning. Our lives changed when I received that frantic call from my mother. Our lives would never be the same again.

And they weren’t. Josh had been changed. He did not return to work for several weeks, maybe even months. He dropped his classes at NMSU, he had nightmares, he was not the same person anymore. He was not the funny, goofy man I had married. I tried to be upbeat and cheerful. He did finally return to the prison, he was put on light duty. Which meant he had no inmate contact. That was probably for the best. He struggled with the job, he was told horrible things to his face and horrible things were said behind his back. He struggled for a long time with what to do. He loved his job. He was striving for excellence. He wanted to be the best officer they had. But then this happened. I really just tried to be a loving and supportive wife.

But then I decided enough was enough. The prison did not want to pay his workers comp claims and they kept “loosing” his paperwork. That can only happen for so long. We decided that we needed to leave. He needed to leave his work at the prison, and he was never going to find a good a paying job with no college degree in Las Cruces and we couldn’t afford to have him take a lower paying job. So we closed our eyes and leapt. We allowed God to make a way for us. We decided to move to Austin, I knew my friend Amy lived here and it was a big city with lots of opportunity.
Josh is back in corrections now, and sometimes it is hard for me. I still worry when he goes to work, but he has a passion for his work that I don’t have. I am glad to see that he has healed enough to do the job he loved so much in New Mexico. But now he is back in New Mexico facing the person who decided to have fun with his face, his ego and his manhood. I think I might hate that man. He changed our lives forever.